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Some fellow villagers, and sometimes even my own wife, joke that I'll eat anything. That's certainly not true! I won't eat spinach. I won't eat monster meat. I won't eat… er… um… Let's just say there are plenty of other things I wouldn't eat that I can't think of at the moment! But whenever Nina wants to tease me about how I'll eat anything, she always brings up Magic Bread. How unfair of her! Just because I'll eat something covered in colored sprinkles and has what appears to be a dried frog in it doesn't mean I'll eat anything! Besides, Magic Bread is actually quite good. It's just as filling as regular bread, but with something extra. Its special ingredients can cause all sorts of wonderful things to happen, whether it keeps you alert or prevents you from becoming any hungrier! Now that's bread I can eat without guilt! While you can never tell what effect it'll have, they're all good enough for me to keep a Magic Bread or two in my pack whenever I go exploring. Now if only I knew what the dried frog was for…
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Of all the foods in the world, bread has to be one of my favorites. It's simple, filling, versatile, and keeps fresh for a long time, if you treat it right. That's why I always take bread with me on my dungeon exploration trips. Maybe if I ever write my memoirs, I'll include this recipe for bread! It's not Nina's, but it's pretty good, and maybe others could try it: Regular (white) bread: 1 pkg. dry yeast 1 c. warm water 1 qt. milk or water 1 tsp. sugar 2 eggs 2 Tbsp. salt 1/4 c. sugar 2 Tbsp. melted shortening Flour Mix dry yeast, warm water and sugar and let sit 15 minutes in small bowl. Mix milk or water, 1 egg, sugar, salt and shortening. Add yeast mixture, then sift in flour until dough is not sticky. Knead dough for about 15 minutes until dough feels smooth in texture. Let rise in warm place until dough double in size. Grease bread pans and separate dough into four loaves. Beat 1 egg and brush over tops of bread. Let rise. Bake in 350 degree oven for 35 to 40 minutes. Remove from pans and let cool. For Big Bread: Double the ingredients and substitute dry yeast with magic yeast. For Magic Bread: Mix magic sprinkles, dried toad, eye of newt, and potions into dough before letting rise. Bake at 450 degrees for 20 minutes. Brush with magic herbs while cooling. For Huge Bread: Grind up four Big Tum Herbs and mix into Big Bread recipe. For Onion Bread: Chop two large magic onions. Add to combined Big Bread/Magic Bread recipes. For Moldy Bread: Follow any bread recipe. After bread is baked, step on Mud Trap. For Rotten Bread: I don't think I really want to mention this.
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| When he was two, Paulo was afraid of the dark.
Whenever he awoke in the middle of the night, he'd come into my bedroom
and snuggle up between myself and Nina, so he'd have protection against
whatever creatures were lurking under his bed. Though he thinks that he's
too old to do that sort of thing now, I know he remembers those days; I
certainly do. But when you're dungeon-exploring, being afraid of the dark
is actually healthy, for all sorts of unknown monsters could be lurking
just around the corner. The Radiant spell, however, lets you see the light
(pardon the joke). Just read the scroll, and suddenly you see and know everything:
where items are, where monsters are, and where the stairs to the next floor
is. Unfortunately, you won't see traps or invisible monsters. Now if only
I knew how to tell Paulo that I sometimes use a nightlight too…
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Like humans, monsters have families, too. Every member of a monster family shares certain magical traits in common, or so a fellow adventurer once told me. With this in mind, wizards can work with blacksmiths to create weapons that greatly harm a certain family of monsters. Take demons, for example… And I wish you would. There are nasty members of this family, everything from Gigantes to Executers to Demonites; this is a powerful and nasty group. The story goes that a cleric decided to do something about these evil creatures, and developed a magic spell that could be bound into a sword. This spell caused the sword to do twice its normal damage when attacking a demon family monster. Of course, because of the demons' power, this sword spread quickly, as the Demon-X Sword, bane of Batboons. I've used this sword very often in my travels… If only there were a way to lend its power to other, stronger swords…
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| Merchants need to be frugal. When you're running
a business like mine, you need to make sure that every gold piece you have
isn't wasted. Unfortunately, dungeon exploring tends to drain your earnings.
Whenever you're knocked out by monsters, they always take advantage of it
to rob you of all your items and at least half your gold before booting
you out of their territory. Very annoying, of course. Fortunately, I made
a discovery on one of my previous adventures that has since been copied
and sold in magic shops all over the world: the Iron Safe. This marvelous
portable safe is the perfect place to store your precious gold. Thus, when
the monsters try to steal your money, it's perfectly… safe. Heh heh, pardon
the joke. Unfortunately, the Iron Safe can't hold items, and while it does
protect your gold, the monsters often damage it while trying to open it,
rendering it useless beyond the first time you're knocked out. Still, the
gold investment in buying a Safe often pays for itself in saved gold if
you're knocked out…
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| Just because I explore dungeons and fight monsters
doesn't mean I'm stupid. I don't like getting hurt any more than anyone
else does. That's why I have to fight smart, not hard. I have to be able
to outwit the monsters, a lot of whom are much stronger than me, if I'm
going to have a chance. Arrows are just one way I do this; not many monsters
can attack from a distance, and weapons like arrows help me keep far away
from them while I either whittle their health away, or defeat them entirely.
Poison Arrows are even better. If the monster survives long enough to reach
me, the poison will have sapped their strength, making their attacks against
me not as painful. This proves one thing: anyone can be an adventurer if
they keep a cool head. Though I have to admit, even I get wild when I see
Nina… and her cooking. Ah, what a wonderful, wonderful woman she is!
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I love to dance. I really do. The right music just sweeps me off my feet. With a catchy tune, and Nina in my arms, I could dance and dance and dance, all day long. Of course, if there's one thing I've learned in my years of adventuring, it's that dancing isn't always good. It's very dangerous to do while surrounded by monsters, for example. In my early days of dungeon exploring, I chewed on an herb I found. Immediately, I heard a lively tune in my mind. I couldn't help but dance to it. And dance I did, even when I was attacked by monsters. Eventually, the music wore off, but by then, I was badly injured, and barely kept myself from being knocked out. Dance Herbs are still useful, but only if thrown at monsters; then they will be the ones who will dance helplessly while you attack. I still chew a Dance Herb once in a while, though; it always makes for a fun party."
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